S.B.T. 418

What kind of a hat would do that

The hat again. And the horn-like shape again, 

a flower in her hat,  a butterfly on her shoulder

or perhaps it is a man with an announcement, wearing a bank-teller’s hat,

haha, supermario hurrying along in a miner’s hat with lamp

with a mermaid attached to his arm, a tiny one- 

he is carrying a 2 by 4 in the other hand. 

Squanto the legendary looks on, feathered headdress 

A celebration, dancing! minimum 5 people happy

It looks like romance, lovers intertwined

The Main character is wearing a hat.

the Type of hat is the key to success...

walking forward in a white cape

light bathing her shoulders,

flowered bonnet collapsing shadows of the past:

1. he runs away, but not too far - baseball cap

2. he doesn’t look back, but bends over backwards - cap backwards

3. he is amorphous, then he evaporates - headband

4. he wore a leather vest, over a tshirt - stetson
on the bench playing guitar

head bowed singing

mom with crown chakra

"People are playing music live, acoustic fretless bass, dance performer"

man with a pony tail, porkpie hat, goatee and trombone

he lost a love from the sea an angel runs into 

a kneeling figure’s outstretched hands

halos rippling

Reading out loud

to a performance crowd
"Love, carry a heart over your head

be jo;;y"

black bowler hat, white collar, marked K, international youth

It’s about falling and rising and healing and celebrating

A German Shepherd, a rabbit and a rat wearing a top hat

the dog is brilliant

zOh the tales, testing a coffin w/a blue ribbon

draped at the head, 

she’s “hmm let’s see how that would be...”

standing there waiting i saw i could lift her up by her

elbow with my shoulder and left arm,  

visualize thick sole shoes dangling spy hat tumbling

shattered bottles spilled medicine
-  a witchy pointing finger

a handscribed letter “J” and all the other letters are

a bunch of wild animals, and one little ballerina
wearing a fedora smoking a bird-carved pipe

notice Lois Lane's cloche as she stands entranced by 

a happy excited Jimmy with his arms in the air, a worry-stricken grandma beside him

a cameraman taking it all down, 

the director waving his beret calls out "everybody

calm down. make a mouth-bow

little birds and love"

S.B.T. 417

I'm Gertrude but I don't sing

I was Gertrude Lawrence. I mean it, really. I saw her face in every mirror.
Her anxiously departed not-yet-done spirit swooped into my newborn body before I could blink. Early on I felt her pulse, as a child drawing haute-couture costumes, writing songs for stage drama on the piano, dancing and dreaming of ever-poofier glittering tutus, fondling stringed instruments, having a certain "oh don't I know you?" feeling with every blond big-beaked lady encountered.
I didn't know it at first, I thought I was a typically creative un-Jewish half Greek girl in a familiarly uncomfortable family. The novel will come out and be made into "My Skinny Little Not-Quite-Greek Wedding" in Hollywood.
And win awards and win again.

did i ever tell you my darkest secret? of course not. but i will tell you now:
i danced. yup. for the devil. during the please-allow-me-to-introduce-myself song with mick jagger. at first i thought it was cool, like bianca jagger throwing off her blouse at a luncheon party. but i did not know what was in store. i wont bother explaining it because apparent as it is, i am here. let me just say that the karmic debt for that was a few decades worth of compound interest on energy at 108%.

Gertrude was livid about it, she was shouting "You fool! You're wasting my time! Idiot!".  People have pointed out their observations of my flamy sudden eruptive temper and complained about it and made me feel awful about it but I tell you, now that I know it was Gertie and not me, it doesn't matter. She's right. She does have something to holler about.

"Sandbags" she says looking up from the chaise longue, "etherically hauling them around. sad, really...ahem..." she continues filing her nails "between the toes, sliding through your fingers, that's fine. But hanging bags over your backbone? Really!"

I know she's been waiting a long time for me to move on and let her be.
She's relaxed a bit over the years, but she keeps a steely finger on me and frequently calls in back-ups. Like yesterday when the kitchen sink ran over, she was like "Jesus! Help this pathetic creature, we have work to do!" 

I know she's pretty fed up with me right now, but I'm ready to give it over to her because I'm even more fed up which just goes to prove how ultimately piously the jew/greek bloodline values a defensive action. Gertie being there ready to pounce and all, but you know I think I'll hand it over to her and then take her to the beach for inspiration. 

S.B.T. 416

interlude 

i want to talk to you, he said, with a "we've-got-to-be-serious" expression beaming like oily light from his eyes
(i feel this urge to leave a legacy that he would one day wake up to: "she was way ahead of me, way ahead of us all." he smiles and shakes his head, grateful and amused. he remembers telling me how it bugged him if he couldn't figure out how someone ticked. i wondered why he cared so much. it had to be for some good reason, like control issues.) 

i saw it happening in a dramatic play. i want them to sally field really like me dontcha know? I smile a little perplexed and shake it off. He has become an old man sitting up to his nipples in a hot tub with a sad smile and his toes peeking out. His wife, sitting in the pool before him, opens her mouth to shout "hey hello" , and he vanishes in the glint of a toothy grin. The pool dissolves in blue bubbly water and the bubbles pop,  the scene concludes. with what little i can find, i tell the truth.

 

S.B.T. 415

i'm all alone here in this place

    the sun is hanging high 

if i look out beyond to space

    i see inside my eye 

i may or may not know what be

    ing is when searching such

thank the lucky stars that shine

   and thank them very much

S.B.T. 414

cinderella revisited

lovely cinderella had a tough time growing up - it wasn't a lot of fun being housemaid to her aunt and cousins. in fact, today's housemaid would never have to tolerate the behaviors cinderella dealt with constantly - manipulation, misuse, cruelty, emotional abuse, physical challenge, etc.

and yet it never spoilt her, because her heart was a tender lily, delicate and fresh and carefully protected by surrounding green shades. though she toiled and sweated, she never failed to recognize the beauty and wonder around her, the birds, the sun, the flowers, the cat, etc. she had fairies, and birds that followed directions, all the forest animals smiled, she was never ever alone. and there was the fairy godmother, who always remained hidden until absolutely needed in a triage situation or something.

she was sweet-natured in spite of circumstances that likely could have produced a bitter child. her cousins intrusions would momentarily interrupt her dream - they noticed and enjoyed upsetting the micro-expression of peace and delight she held consistently while enjoying such small things as the grooves in the planks on the floor as she scrubbed them, the shapes and popping noises of the bubbles, her own thought which could go anywhere and be anything. but her expression was only child-like and startled, never angry or frightened, and her eyes would instantly melt back into a joyful expression as soon as she made eye contact.

this the family found rather amusing and greatly helpful, her nature was such that they needn't watch over their own faults  - she would never even seem to see anyones so-called faults - they could behave in any way they chose around her, and her aunt and cousins, being somewhat unenlightened, chose to be hell-on-wheels pompous bitches, well maybe they didn't choose it, maybe it's just how they were. obviously you can be more colorful if you control the riches. circus pink as opposed to earth tone, well, dust, really. Real rubies, emeralds and so on as opposed to no accessories except an apron.

this never troubled cinderella as she fed the chickens and they scattered at her feet, milked Daisy Bell, the cow, and churned the butter. she loved the big pockets of her apron, she would find small treasures in the fields or in the barn, and those pockets were invaluable for keeping things secure and well-hidden. neither her aunt nor her cousins would ever dream of putting their hands in her filthy pockets.

so anyway, that is how it was with cinderella last time i checked which was yesterday, she was just blessed with curiosity and good will i suppose. circumstances notwithstanding, magic things happen repeatedly and she gets way more than she ever wanted but seems to just flow along accepting it graciously -  a good story, cinderella, love 'ya.

S.B.T. 413

airtists

we celebrate new ideas, we exchange them joyously, we collaborate to blaze new paths, we dont know where it's going but we're driven like deer through the forest seeking berries water shelter. we go everywhere unafraid of spiders snakes bears. we pluck leeches off our ankles like they were wet oak leaves and toss them onto the moss where they shiver and slink away. we paint our faces to look like fire and watch the sun burn.  we melt into night, dripping from a silvery dipper, we seefeelhear things differently, we are creatures of creative sp-splendor deep and restless shhh can you keep a secret?

things are moving skyward, look for cloud paintings

S.B.T. 412

grace

oprah winfrey and deepak chopra held a 21-day meditation online, about finding grace through gratitude. as their programs and presentations are always well tuned and inspiring, i was expecting more of the same, but i tell you, this one was different.

similarly, i was going along as usual, observing things, rearranging things, bringing order out of chaos, binding threads into skeins, collecting every scrap of awareness fabric, for a quilt that would cover the bed, and the legs of the bed so no monster under there could get out when suddenly i heard someone saying the words "Just find 3 things to be grateful about right now." It was easy, because the flowers are so nice, wellness is spreading like wildfire, and there are mysteries i dont know about yet. When that was over I thought of 3 more, and so on. i'm grateful for the old tree, for my melon I'm having for breakfast, for the rose of sharon in bloom, for the coffee, for the windows, for friends old and new, it can go on forever

but it doesn't go beyond reverie if i dont stop long enough to feel it, really feel that strong almost overwhelming gratitude, it's like a direct line charge to the heart and it shoots out streamers, that grow and reach for the highest and thus connect via that chakra to higher intelligence, the holy trinity, buddhist non-attachment, krishna and a thousand women at once, it can go on forever
 

Just saying....