I was Gertrude Lawrence. I mean it, really. I saw her face in every mirror.
Her anxiously departed not-yet-done spirit swooped into my newborn body before I could blink. Early on I felt her pulse, as a child drawing haute-couture costumes, writing songs for stage drama on the piano, dancing and dreaming of ever-poofier glittering tutus, fondling stringed instruments, having a certain "oh don't I know you?" feeling with every blond big-beaked lady encountered.
I didn't know it at first, I thought I was a typically creative un-Jewish half Greek girl in a familiarly uncomfortable family. The novel will come out and be made into "My Skinny Little Not-Quite-Greek Wedding" in Hollywood.
And win awards and win again.
Her anxiously departed not-yet-done spirit swooped into my newborn body before I could blink. Early on I felt her pulse, as a child drawing haute-couture costumes, writing songs for stage drama on the piano, dancing and dreaming of ever-poofier glittering tutus, fondling stringed instruments, having a certain "oh don't I know you?" feeling with every blond big-beaked lady encountered.
I didn't know it at first, I thought I was a typically creative un-Jewish half Greek girl in a familiarly uncomfortable family. The novel will come out and be made into "My Skinny Little Not-Quite-Greek Wedding" in Hollywood.
And win awards and win again.
did i ever tell you my darkest secret? of course not. but i will tell you now:
i danced. yup. for the devil. during the please-allow-me-to-introduce-myself song with mick jagger. at first i thought it was cool, like bianca jagger throwing off her blouse at a luncheon party. but i did not know what was in store. i wont bother explaining it because apparent as it is, i am here. let me just say that the karmic debt for that was a few decades worth of compound interest on energy at 108%.
i danced. yup. for the devil. during the please-allow-me-to-introduce-myself song with mick jagger. at first i thought it was cool, like bianca jagger throwing off her blouse at a luncheon party. but i did not know what was in store. i wont bother explaining it because apparent as it is, i am here. let me just say that the karmic debt for that was a few decades worth of compound interest on energy at 108%.
Gertrude was livid about it, she was shouting "You fool! You're wasting my time! Idiot!". People have pointed out their observations of my flamy sudden eruptive temper and complained about it and made me feel awful about it but I tell you, now that I know it was Gertie and not me, it doesn't matter. She's right. She does have something to holler about.
"Sandbags" she says looking up from the chaise longue, "etherically hauling them around. sad, really...ahem..." she continues filing her nails "between the toes, sliding through your fingers, that's fine. But hanging bags over your backbone? Really!"
I know she's been waiting a long time for me to move on and let her be.
She's relaxed a bit over the years, but she keeps a steely finger on me and frequently calls in back-ups. Like yesterday when the kitchen sink ran over, she was like "Jesus! Help this pathetic creature, we have work to do!"
She's relaxed a bit over the years, but she keeps a steely finger on me and frequently calls in back-ups. Like yesterday when the kitchen sink ran over, she was like "Jesus! Help this pathetic creature, we have work to do!"
I know she's pretty fed up with me right now, but I'm ready to give it over to her because I'm even more fed up which just goes to prove how ultimately piously the jew/greek bloodline values a defensive action. Gertie being there ready to pounce and all, but you know I think I'll hand it over to her and then take her to the beach for inspiration.
