S.B.T. 401

different

when i was a fledgling art student i thought 

protecting ones precious ideas, concern about being ripped off,

competitiveness for whatever reason unless it was to enhance everyone's overall effort/experience (like friendly competition towards a greater goal), were sort of beta-brain-wave-pumping exercises in futility—

all these "it's MY idea, you better not touch it with a ten-foot pole" attitudes were an out-there off-balance social phenomenon

that

didn't 
add up 
somehow.

so every time someone stole, used with or without permission or bought one of my original so-to-speak ideas outright, i heard a chorus, in counterpoint:

"that actually Is my dear idea"

"but, there are an infinite number of ideas"

and i'd note the occurrence and move on, not that it happened every day but the few times it did a little chunk of soul went missing, but that left a space for some ventilation, so it was encouraging in a sense. i could have chosen a battle or maybe a collaboration, but i let it go. i began to realize that it was a good thing in a way to have an idea get a lift to another place. it meant i didn't have to provide transportation.

one time a teacher who must have been agonizing over something unseen said "but what if there are only one or two REALLY GOOD ideas that can make your life a dream come true, out you on the map, get you into the Whitney." and i didn't react, out of respect and shyness, but i thought it was an "expect limitation" message. 

i have to admit that the geese flying over called out a cacophany at the exact moment these inner words echoed: "i think different".  it could be seen as my ego's baby finger nodding toward me while the rest of the hand holds the cup delicately at afternoon tea.  let's take a sip, lovely assam aroma. 

waht? do i even know anything about anything especially myself? duh,  i do and even if i didn't so what. but then again, i'm not at the Whitney. and only one of my ideas ever ended up at the Whitney, though it was completely transformed materially, by an artist who'd been a friend in my class, who'd been inspired by the idea, had come several times to my studio when i was working on it.   when i saw the works at the Whitney, i realized the idea never was mine to keep. 
I wouldn't want to have been carrying it around for years. however, i do work in concept development.  just covering the bases.

"You can't use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have."    

— Maya Angelou

clear path ahead, on to the next idea....